1 / 7
Uniquely exquisite tableau featuring a knotted fur tuffet with satin floral emission (Virgin Spun).
Tuffet is fully biodegradable if you follow the Noble Eightfold Path or never look at your neighbor’s wife. Libidon’t let this deal go! Magnificent jewel tones, voluptuous ermine – perfect gift for any 24-hour anniversary, Dia de los Muertos, or that other little death. Pluck this fleur de mal to sin and sin again!
2 / 7
PRICE: 5 pc. $2.99, 10 pc. $5.00, 20 pc. $8.99
Exquisitely unique assemblage complete with a hot tangle of neon phone chargers (2!!), small chandelier on rare soup can, urn, bottle, hair, face powder, clown gummies, spoon, possible Velveeta, mirror, and a clay pig that all just scream need!
Overindulge in this scene – treat yourself to the beyond – grab it while you can get it.
3 / 7
PRICE: thirty-three stacks of cubits
What's better than this kisses for Brexit, money for a face, sacks of pounds or infinity pools? Beautiful gift for those who just can't get enough. Exquisite piece for all the material girls and boils. Boils will be boils and you'll surely be boiling alive in Hell, the finest most luxurious oil. Stockpile more than your share, out-Scrooge them all. Not for the faint of heart, this assemblage is for those who can't stop, won't stop building their earthly empires.
4 / 7
Collectible TY Otter (Sloth)...
A timeless classic...
Hands may or may not be included...
Delivery time: seemingly never...
5 / 7
Exquisitely beautiful assemblage of various sharp objects including a one-of-a-kind Trotsky Icepick replica puncturing the original plastic packaging of a round, EarlyBieber™ Timepiece; 33 mm diameter featuring a white, patent leather band complete with cartoon hearts in place of numbers to help count down the days before the gates of puberty burst open the threshold to a testosterone-fueled rage deluge.
WARNING: “PLEASE” CONTACT YOUR SPIRITUAL GUIDE IMMEDIATELY IF YOU EXPERIENCE CRUSHING CHEST PAIN, SUDDEN VOMITTING OF COFFEE GROUNDS, RED- DENED EYE-BALLS OR DARK URINE, A SATURATION OF SELF-PRESERVATION, STRESS, OR DEATH
6 / 7
PRICE: record likes
Be the envy of all your friends.
7 / 7
PRICE: beyond monetary
This tableau presents an exquisitely beautiful Belle figurine leaving the quiet village and entering a dark Styrofoam abyss, flanked by a plastic tooth whitener and beautifully exquisite hair pin. Belle likes to read and doesn't admit she likes a multi-species monster prince because he insults her and they are rude to each other. Beauty & The Beast. Pride & Prejudice. Same. Lumiere pours too much wine, Belle drunk-texts Gaston.